“The struggle itself towards the heights is enough to fill a man’s heart.” — Albert Camus
There have been times in my life when I’ve needed to take a risk that I’ve been scared to fail. These fears often crop up when trying new things like public speaking, job changes, and, well, the list does go on. My fear of failure often stems from a constant fear of not being good enough. Although perfectionism can drive many people to do great things, it’s this incessant hum of needing to be perfect that rolls around in the back of my brain that has held me back in so many avenues of my life.
Fear of saying something the wrong way can be debilitating. There will be opportunities lost in not saying what you want, or in not understanding what has been said. In my case, misunderstandings usually stemmed from my lack of self-confidence, and my constant questioning that often took over my capacity to speak. Even after I convinced myself, or even after I rationalized that if I made a mistake, things would be fine. I am never quite sure if things will really be fine. One thing is certain: if you want to learn to speak a second language as an adult, you will have to exercise practise, patience, persistence, and engage other people.
I am not a handy kind of girl. What I mean is things like carpentry, plumbing, and drywalling do not come naturally to me. (I have left out electrical because some things should really be left to professionals.) I do not have that inherent handy gene built in. I have never followed any carpentry or handy type courses, nor have I had the luxury of having this type of information passed down to me by more learned acquaintances. I have learned everything I have needed to learn, thus far, from the Internet, YouTube is my usual go to. Yes, a picture is worth a thousand words, but a video? That, my friends, is priceless.